K, miss our weekend endeavors. L pt2

 The next day at work she could barely focus, she was excited about her date but also fueled by a bit of adrenaline from the secret she was keeping from her husband. Would he find out? How would he? He wouldn’t right? She went back and forth with these ideas throughout her day, but eventually, the thought of meeting Lawrence in person pushed those ideas to the back of her mind. Around 5:30, she heard a ping come from her purse and It was Lawrence.

Lawrence: “Hey, Kim. I’m really excited about our date tonight. Are we still on for seven?”

Kim: “Yes, seven still works for me.”

Lawrence: “Great. This is the address. See you soon.”  

She stared at her phone, smiling to herself before she was interrupted by a voice.

“What are you all smiley for?” Joanna prodded. Kim came back to reality at the sound of her presence and almost dropped her phone.

“Oh, hey. Nothing, I just saw something cute uh on my Instagram”, she said with an awkward laugh. Joanna gave her a side glance before continuing.

“Uh okay, weirdo. Anyway, are you busy tonight? I got tickets to a show at the Apollo if you want to come”, she asked.

“Oh that sounds fun, but I can’t tonight. I have plans,” she told her. 

“Plans? With who?” Joanna was stunned and Kim knew she wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily. She paused for a second, waiting for inspiration, but she was drawing a blank. She didn’t want to explain to her what she was actually doing, not because she was afraid of judgment, but because she hadn’t even met Lawrence yet. She had no idea where this would go, so why speak on it prematurely. 

“Um there is an art exhibit downtown”, she paused when she saw the uncertainty that came across Joanna’s face. “It’s uh it’s new and I’ve been wanting to go but you know how Gerald is, he never wants to try anything new, so I just decided to buy a ticket and go by myself.” Joanna’s face softened by the time Kim reached the end of her explanation. She knew what had been going on with her and Gerald for a while now, so she could empathize. 

“Oh, well I wish you had told me, I would have gone with you,” she responded in a remorseful tone. 

“No that’s okay. Thank you, but I think it’s a good thing to try some things on my own for a change”, she reassured her. Joanna nodded as if to say she understood.

“Alright. Well have fun”, she said. “I’m about to head out so I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved and left for the evening. Kim checked the time and saw she had five minutes before it was time to leave, so she ran to the bathroom to freshen up quickly. She pulled up the address on her phone and hopped on the train towards downtown where she arrived a little early and with all that time to herself, she started to panic. She was thinking about Gerald and whether or not she was making a huge mistake. 

“Should I just go home?”, she thought. “I could just tell Lawrence never mind and that this was a huge mistake. Gerald isn’t perfect, but would he cheat on me? Oh my goodness is this cheating? Am I cheating on my husband? It’s just dinner. With a friend. …that I met on a dating app. I really should just leave before he gets here and text him and tell him I wasn’t feeling well or maybe …” Just as she began sending herself into a spiral, she heard a voice call her name. 

“Kim!”, when she turned around, she saw Lawrence making his way down the sidewalk to greet her with a beautiful bouquet in hand. He looked even more handsome than his profile and his smile made everything she had previously considered, disappear. 

“Hey, Kim it’s nice to see you in person”, he opened his arms and leaned in for a hug to which she reciprocated. 

“These are for you”, he said handing her the flowers. She was in disbelief at how beautiful the arrangement was and also at the fact that they were for her. 

“These are beautiful! Thank you so much!” She was beaming and could not contain herself. Lawrence smiled, indicating that it was his pleasure. 

“I know we’re a little early, but should we go in? Maybe they can seat us now”, he suggested as he gestured for her to walk through the door he held open. When they walked in, they were welcomed by the greeter.

“Hi good evening. Table for two?”, he asked. 

“Good evening, yes I have a reservation under the last name Richards.” He looked up the name before grabbing their menus and walking them to their seats.

“We have this table all ready for you, here are your menus and someone will be with you shortly.” he placed the menus down before heading back to the front to assist the next few guests that had arrived.  

“Let me get that for you”, Lawrence said while pulling out Kim’s chair. She smiled and thanked him as she sat down.

“Everything looks so good, I have no idea what to get”, she scanned the menu checking everything from appetizers to desserts. She didn’t know what to order, mainly because it was all more expensive than she was used to. 

“Order whatever you’d like.” Kim looked up and saw Lawrence giving her a reassuring look that everything would be taken care of before the waiter came to take their order. As the night went on, they sat and ate and drank and talked about everything; where he’s traveled, where she’d like to travel, childhood, political views, everything she had been missing in her marriage was sitting right across from her, and she was not about to give it up. They sat, finished their drinks, and waited for the check as the evening came to an end. 

“I had an amazing time, thank you so much for a great night.” Kim was smiling from ear to ear holding her flowers and expressing her appreciation for the evening.

“I had a great time as well, I’d love to do it again soon.” Lawrence looked at his phone and made note of the time.

“Oh wow, it’s much later than I thought it was. Here, let me call you an uber. I don’t want you taking the subway at this hour.” He opened his phone and handed it to her so she could enter her address. Once she did, she saw that the time plus the distance generated an $80 uber from there to her house. Her eyes widened as she handed it back to him.

“Oh, no it’s fine. I’ll take the train. $80 is ridiculous”, she started before he cut

 her off.

“Miguel is on his way, he’ll be here in two minutes”, he confirmed. She was stunned and laughed in disbelief. “I like you, Kim”, Lawrence stated. “I don’t mind helping when I can if I feel like the feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual, right?” 

“Yes. Yes, absolutely,” she reassured him. As they finished their conversation, the uber pulled up and Lawrence walked her to the car and opened the door. 

“Text me when you get home, okay?”, he said. She nodded before he closed the door and the driver pulled off. The whole ride home, all she could think about was the evening and the connection she had just made. She was on such a high and she didn’t want to come down anytime soon. When the driver arrived at her front door, she thanked him before getting out and walking towards her brownstone. She made it up to the second step before she stopped.

“Oh, shit”, she thought to herself. “I can’t take these flowers upstairs.” Before she went in, she leaned over the side of the steps and stuffed the bouquet inside. She was sad to get rid of them but she knew the problems they would bring, so instead, she just reached into her purse and grabbed her keys before quietly walking inside. When she entered the bedroom, Gerald was still awake laying there on his phone. She stopped short because he was usually fast asleep by 9 pm so for him to be awake was unusual.

“You’re home late”, he said flatly as he continued scrolling. Instantly the feeling of euphoria that was brought on by the evening had dissolved, and she was reminded that this was her reality.

“You’re up late”, she replied, closing the door to undress. Gerald didn’t say anything, he just glared at her over his shoulder as she got her pajamas together and headed to the bathroom. When she came back, the lights were once again off and he was asleep. 

For the next few weeks these meet-ups continued, some at restaurants, some at his place for the weekend, weekends Gerald was led to believe were spent on work trips with Joanna. Eventually, the feeling of guilt subsided, especially when her weekends ended with her return to a cold and loveless home with a man who barely acknowledged her presence. It’s not that she loved Lawrence, but she did enjoy his company and the fact that he filled what had been missing from her life for months. Her plan had been running flawlessly, until one night it wasn’t. After six weeks of her double life, she was caught. She came home one Sunday evening, like she regularly had been, walked into their bedroom with her weekend bag, took off her coat, and gave a brief hello to her husband before she went into the bathroom to shower. When she returned, Gerald was sitting on the edge of the bed silently, with her phone in his hand. Kim stood in the doorway wrapped in her towel as the color drained from her face. He hadn’t said a word yet, but still, she knew he knew and she knew it was over. 

“What… did you need my phone for something?”, she muttered softly. 

“It was ringing. A few times in fact, so I grabbed it and I saw you had missed calls from L?”, he began. He didn’t scream or raise his voice. Instead, he kept a calm steady tone, which made everything so much worse. “You know I thought it was strange, how you kept leaving for work these past few weekends. I mean you’ve left for work trips before but not this much and not this often. And there was that night you came home from dinner with Joanna a few weeks ago? Remember when you came home late?” He stopped and waited for her to respond, but all she did was nod.

“Yeah, my phone lit up when you were at the front door with a notification from Ring and I saw you throw those flowers away. I've been suspicious since then, but I let it go. But tonight? With your phone blowing up? Don’t worry I didn’t answer it, but I found Lawrence in your Casualconex app.” He was silent and Kim couldn’t do anything but stand there and cry, which enraged Gerald even more. 

“Stop crying!”, he screamed as he launched her phone across the bedroom and the two of them watched it shatter as it hit the wall. Kim dropped to her knees, screamed, and continued crying as she apologized over and over again. Her eyes were so overflown with tears, that she didn’t even notice Gerald’s bags were packed and sitting next to the bed. It wasn’t until he reached for them and walked toward the door that she realized he was leaving. Before he walked out he turned to her with a blank stare.  

“I’m going to my brother’s house. I want a divorce.” He shut the door and left her there to wallow in her misery and sit with her choices and dishonesty. As the days passed and the dust began to settle, Kim spent the next few weeks at her sister’s house thinking about if she’d ever see Lawrence again and about the pain she had caused Gerald. As much as she had beat herself up for her acts, there was still a part of her that didn’t regret her decision to meet Lawrence. Even if it was only for a moment, it was a moment she had been yearning for and it was a moment she will continue to cherish. 

One evening when she was walking up towards her sister’s building, she stopped to check the mailbox, when she looked up to see two people walking towards a car parked up the street and she couldn’t believe it. It was Lawrence. He was with a woman, both well dressed as if they had just come back or were on their way out. She watched as he opened the door for her and made his way around to the driver’s side, before pulling off from the curb, taking the first left, and driving off. At this moment she was overcome with a wave of emotions, some happy, some sad, and even some jealousy, but overall acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that the time she spent with Lawrence in the past would have to be enough.