Should have said something

     Kathy came home at the end of the workweek, exhausted. Along with her regular 9-5, she freelances on the side and has made some decent income doing so. It’s safe to say that she does pretty well for herself, seeing as how she lives in a one-bedroom with her dog, so besides that, she doesn’t have many responsibilities. 

“Hi, Lulu! Hi, mama! Hi, hi!!!” Lulu happily greeted her as she walked through the door, barely giving her the space to put her things down, but she managed. After taking off her shoes, hanging up her coat, and tossing her keys on her dining room table, she made her way to the fridge. She knew what awaited her on the other side, but still, she was hopeful that there might be something salvageable enough to get her through the evening. Unfortunately, the reality was confirmed as both the lights and disappointment hit her face, when she opened the door and saw half a bottle of wine, some questionable vegetables that have seen better days, a scoop of rice that she should have just finished the first time around, accompanied by a faint and unidentifiable stench that would only get worse, but she would deal with it when that time came. She closed the door and went to the cabinet to grab food for Lulu, before opening her uber eats app and seeing what was still available in her neighborhood.

“Alright”, she said quietly to herself, “What do I want?” She scrolled through the options before landing on Chinese food.

“I haven’t been here in a while, they’re pretty good.” She looked through the menu options, even though she knew she was going to order her usual.  

“Okay, sesame chicken, a side of white rice, and oooo some scallion pancakes. Okay cool, place order. 30 minutes. Cool.”

She stood up and made her way to the bedroom to change out of her work clothes and put on something more comfortable. Sitting on the edge of her bed, Kathy let out a sigh, as she rolled her neck and decompressed from the day before opening her bedroom door. Lulu was laying there, awaiting her return, and instantly jumped up when she emerged.

“Do you want to go outside? Yes, you want to go for a walk?” The high pitch in Kathy’s voice made Lulu jump and bark with excitement as she grabbed her leash. 

“Okay, we’ll go for a walk! Go for a walk then get mommy’s food? Yes, okay let’s go let’s go!” She clipped her leash, before gathering her own belongings and heading out the door. On their walk, Lulu stopped and sniffed everything in her path, and Kathy took in her neighborhood’s surroundings. She’s been in her apartment for the past 3 years and has only had Lulu for one, and she couldn’t be happier. She adopted Lulu from a shelter where they took in dogs that had come from abusive homes. When Kathy met her, she was a two-year-old, malnourished pup who was terrified of strangers. She would stay in her cage and only approached her food bowl when the workers were out of sight, and even there she barely ate. Fast forward to Kathy, who instantly gravitated towards Lulu, and knew that she could not leave that shelter without her. Every day after work, she would come by and visit and play with her until she finally earned her trust. After a few months of unconditional love and familiarity, Lulu was ready to go home and they’ve been together ever since. 

“You ready to go back, Lulu? Ready to get mama’s food? Come let’s go!”. With the Chinese food restaurant being close to her house, Kathy and Lulu turned around and made their way back up the street. As they got ready to walk inside, Kathy picked up Lulu and held her in her arms. 

“Hi”, she said as she walked in, “I’m here to pick up an order.”

“Did you call it in?”, asked the woman behind the counter.

“No, it was an Uber eats order”, Kathy replied.

“What’s the name on the order?”, she responded.

“Kathy.”

“Okay, one moment. About 15 more minutes”, she reassured her. Kathy nodded and stepped aside to make room for other customers. The restaurant was quiet, and as she stood holding Lulu and scrolling idly on her phone, a man who was standing a few feet away had come into view. 

“What a cute dog”, he said, filling the silent space. Kathy was caught off guard when he approached her unexpectedly. 

“Huh?”, she said as she looked up, slightly startled. 

“Sorry”, he said putting his hand out and stepping back. “I didn’t mean to scare you I was just saying you have a really cute dog.” Lulu tucked herself further into her owner’s arms as he spoke before Kathy responded.

“Oh, thank you. Yeah, she’s my baby,” she chuckled. 

“That’s great. I’ve always wanted a dog. I keep saying maybe one day I’ll get one,” he sighed as he placed his hands in his pockets. “I have a cat currently, but she’s pretty old. So any day now she gonna …” he ended that sentence with the finger across the throat gesture, causing Kathy to laugh nervously. She was, however, still intrigued. 

“I’m Mike”, he said as he reached his hand out. 

“Kathy. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and smiled, as Mike continued the conversation. 

“So how did you hear about this place?”, he asked her.

“I order from here pretty often. Yeah, it’s not too far from me and the food is usually pretty good. Sometimes cooking is not an option”, she said as she was instantly recalled the memory of her sad and understocked fridge, that was waiting for her at home. 

“Yeah, I hear you. Cooking isn’t really my forte. I mean I do okay, but definitely not my area of expertise,” he laughed. Mike was handsome, there was no doubt about it. And in this chapter of Kathy’s life, she was very much interested in building more genuine and lasting connections. She wasn’t sure why or how they ended up in front of each other, but she decided to humor the situation. 

“So are you around here also, or just passing through the neighborhood?”, she continued.

“Nope, not too far from here either. I’m right up the block,” he told her. “Whenever I do come by here, it’s usually a time like this. Friday night after work and I’m just drained from the week, you know? I don’t really do the whole happy hour scene, maybe on occasion, but it’s not really for me”, he paused and briefly stumbled over his words before going on. “I-i-it’s not that I don’t enjoy company, I do”, he stated very clearly. “It’s just most people in my circle do the things I’m not particularly fond of, ya know. But it would be nice to have someone to share a meal with every once in a while. Eating alone isn’t the most fun in the world.” He paused and smiled slightly as he rubbed his neck waiting for Kathy to speak. But she just stood the for a second, also with a smile.

“Um, yeah. I know what you mean.” Her voice was shaky and her thoughts were moving faster than she could speak. “Ask to share a meal with him tonight. He doesn’t have to eat alone, tonight” she thought to herself. “That might be weird though. But I feel like he was giving off that vibe? That he was interested?” 

“Order for Kathy!” The woman behind the counter thankfully interrupted her thoughts as she called out her order, snapping Kathy back to reality. 

“That’s me,” she said at a volume that wasn’t exactly yelling, but it was noticeably louder than necessary. 

“Sorry. That um that’s me.” She composed herself before walking over to the counter and grabbing her food. She put Lulu down briefly and double-checked the bags to make sure everything was there, as the woman called out again.

“Order for Mike!” Mike walked up alongside Kathy to retrieve his food as well.

“Thank you”, he said as he stepped to the side and waited for Kathy to finish, before walking out together.

“After you”, he said gesturing to the front door. Kathy and Lulu followed his lead and stood outside, preparing their goodbyes. 

“It was nice talking to you”, Mike started. “Picked the right night for take-out I guess,” he said with a soft laugh.

“It was nice talking to you too, Mike.” She smiled politely as she came to terms with the fact that she indeed, was not going to ask if they could share this meal together. She was scared. They waved and Mike said one final goodbye to Lulu before they turned away from each other, and set off in opposite directions. 

When Kathy opened the door to the apartment, she unclipped Lulu and took off her jacket and shoes. She washed her hands and sat at the table, mad at herself for not just taking a leap and trying. 

“Why didn’t you just ask”, she said out loud as she unpacked her dinner. “He was clearly interested and flirting with you. Why did you not just say something?”.  While she sat there playing back the events of the evening, she looked down and saw Lulu whimpering at her feet.

“No, Lulu. Your food is in your bowl, don’t beg.” She shooed her away, turned back to the table, and dug in.

As the days passed, the memory of Mike started to slowly pass as well. Now and then she would recall him and it was usually accompanied by a smile or a chuckle, but those moments were few and far between. She continued with her days as she normally had, with work and freelance orders. One day, weeks after her run-in with Mike, she took her clothes to the laundromat up the street for a wash. As she sat there, reading and waiting for them to finish drying, she was approached by a customer.

“Excuse me”, the voice said, “I don’t mean to bother you but do you happen to have change for two dollars?” 

Kathy looked up at the very handsome man that stood across from her for a moment, before answering. 

“Let me check.” She put her book down in her lap and began rummaging through her purse. “Sorry, I don’t think that I do.” She felt bad that she couldn’t help, but she didn’t want their conversation to end there. She was not going to miss another opportunity. 

“Um, well hang on.” She stopped him as he headed back to his machine. “I have 75 cents here, let me see.” She dug further down into her purse, seemingly searching for change, but in reality, was thinking about what she was going to say next. 

“75 cents doesn’t really help you does it?”, she asked with a slight cringe.

“Actually yeah it would, but I can’t give you two dollars for 75 cents,” he laughed.

“Oh no, no that’s okay. You can just have it. It was collecting dust at the bottom of my bag anyway.” They smiled at each other before he confirmed. “Are you sure?”, he asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s my good deed for the day.” On the outside, she seemed fine, but inside she was getting that feeling again. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her and she was struggling to put sentences together. She started to turn and walk away before catching herself in her tracks and facing him.

“I’m Kathy”, she said with her hand out. “I just. I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi.” He smiled at her before meeting her hand with his.  

“I’m Evan. Nice to meet you, Kathy.” His smile was bright enough to fill the room, and he had a very sweet demeanor. She was still nervous, but much more proud of herself for not letting it stop her. 

“I was gonna go up the street and grab a drink while I wait for my clothes to dry, did you maybe want to join me?” She was on a high and wanted to see where this interaction would lead. 

“Oh that sounds great”, Evan started, “but I’m actually meeting a friend in a few. Have to get a few more things checked off my list before I call it a day. But could I get your number? We can set something up in a few days?”, he asked, reaching for his phone in his back pocket. 

“That would be great.” He handed her his phone and she entered her number before returning it. 

“Awesome”, he smiled. “I’ll text you”

“Great, talk to you soon.” Kathy turned to walk towards the front door of the laundromat feeling really good about herself, and the smile on her face was proof. As she reached the threshold, she bumped into another patron on their way in. 

“Oh! I’m sorry,” she said backing away and looking up. 

“Mike?” she said with stark confusion.

“Kathy!” he responded. More excited than her, but equally confused.

“Mike!” a voice shouted from the back. It was Evan with his hand up, waving to get his attention.

“Evan!” Mike shouted back prompting Evan to walk and meet his friend at the door.

“Evan?” Kathy questioned. “You know Evan?”, she asked him.

“You know Evan”, Miked asked back. 

“I mean not-no-not-we…” she was stammering as Evan began closing in and holding his hand out to greet Mike.                           

“Um hey, Kathy”, Evan said, feeling like he had just walked in on something. “I see you met Mike.”

“Yeah, yes. Yes, I did meet Mike. We have met, yes.” All of Kathy’s confidence had flown out the window.

“This is the friend I’m meeting”, Evan told her, trying to continue casually but finding it increasingly difficult to do so. 

“Makes sense, makes sense. Um well, I’m actually on my way out but you two have a great rest of your afternoon”, she sputtered through an awkward smile, making her way past them and out the door. She barely made it up the block, before Evan was calling her name and jogging towards her. 

“Kathy!”, he called out. “Kathy, wait up, wait up.”

She stopped to turn around and saw his strides slowing as he got closer.

“Hey, so I didn’t know you were the Kathy that Mike told me about”, he began to explain.

“The Kathy that Mike told me about”, she thought to herself. “He was talking about me?”.

“He told me about a Kathy he ran into the other night, when he was picking up Chinese food, and that he really wished he had invited you over for dinner or asked for your number at least.”

She was completely caught off guard with this information, but it felt so good knowing that the feeling was mutual. 

“Really?”, she finally responded. 

“Yeah”, Evan confirmed. “So how about this, I’ll give him your number and you two can finally be in touch”, he proposed.

“That would actually be really great. Not that you’re not awesome…”

“No, no”, Evan interjected. “I mean I am great but no I get it.”

They both laughed before Kathy continued. 

“It was really nice meeting you, Evan. And thank you so much for passing my information along,” she told him.

“No problem, Kathy. Hey, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon.” The two smiled before parting ways and heading off in different directions. A few minutes later, Kathy’s phone buzzed and it was a text from Mike. 

“Hey, so glad we ran into each other again. Let’s have that dinner together soon.”

Kathy beamed at her phone as she read the message, before replying.

“Glad we did too. Dinner sounds great.”